The following is an urgent bulletin from the CDC:

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

Bulletin № 2021–01–20

RE: Trump Withdrawal Syndrome warning

In the midst of the current pandemic, it’s easy to forget other potential health issues which are more limited in scope. In particular, we are today warning about a serious matter potentially affecting hundreds of individuals: Trump Withdrawal Syndrome.

Trump Withdrawal Syndrome or TWS can affect anyone but is most worrisome in the case of political satirists, particularly those heavily addicted to Donald J. Trump. …

Like a broken record, medical experts have been warning us about COVID-19 and endlessly repeating the holy triad of preventative measures: wash your hands, wear a mask and socially distance. But there are other precautions you can take to avoid contracting the coronavirus:

* Avoid anyone wearing a red ball cap emblazoned with the slogan “Make America Great Again.” The indoor campaign rally held in Tulsa, Oklahoma last June was just another indication that Trump supporters are pandemic deniers and unconcerned about possibly spreading the virus. Consider that red hat a flashing emergency alarm and stay far away.

* In…

I’m 71, just received my first vaccination shot and should be feeling happy and relieved. Well I am feeling happy and relieved but I’m also feeling guilty. Why? Because others deserved to get their first shot before me and instead will have to wait a couple of months or more.

It occurred to me that here in Ontario the government has badly bungled the vaccination rollout. The province’s priority scheme is seriously out of whack.

They did get it right when it comes to healthcare workers and first responders. Given the elevated risk those folks face on a daily basis…

WORKPLACE LINGO

Boy, I wish I could have been a fly on the wall in that meeting. Not that it would have taken a fly to see the elephant in the room. Or the 800-pound gorilla, for that matter.

But I was dog-tired and, after having had a whale of a time the previous night and getting drunk as a boiled owl, I was sick as a dog and in no mood to watch the boss perform his dog and pony show.

Much as I would have liked to have attended the meeting, I wasn’t going to be pigheaded or bullheaded and…

PERIODICAL FOLLIES

“Scientific American backs Biden for its first presidential endorsement in 175 years”

- Washington Post headline — September 15, 2020

In what some called a surprising move, the oldest continuously published magazine in the United States endorsed a presidential candidate for the first time. Typically, the lamestream media gave prominence to a leftwing, science-based periodical and completely ignored the many other magazines which endorsed Donald Trump. Here are just a few of those publications:

Conspiracy Theory Digest

The wealth of conspiracy theories promoted by the President made it almost imperative that Conspiracy Theory Digest give its full editorial support to…

Apparently, like many other employers, The United States of America likes to use that modern human resources tool, the exit interview, if the following leaked transcript from early January is accurate:

Thank you, sir, for agreeing to meet with me.

No problem. Sorry about the initial rude greeting and the weapons frisk. You can’t be too careful these days.

First, just out of curiosity, why are there banks of sandbags next to each doorway?

Just a standard precaution in case the enemy tries to get in.

OK, let’s get started. First question: Why did you begin looking for another job…

For those over sixty, modern electronic technology can be a challenge. From remembering your Amazon password to how to set your PVR, baby boomers often find it difficult to navigate today’s digital universe.

Nowhere is that challenge more apparent than with Zoom, the popular cloud-based, peer-to-peer software platform used for videotelephonic services. Or as baby boomers call it: that Zoom thing.

Luckily, boomers seldom have a problem signing in to Zoom since there’s usually at least one person under sixty in their online group with basic Internet skills. However, they sometimes do have problems abiding by basic social rules and…

SIXTIES STUDIES

Good morning students and welcome once again to “Beatles Lyrics 101”, an in-depth analysis of the lyrics of various Beatles songs. Just as Shakespeare is replete with linguistic riddles from the 17th century, so, too, does the discography of the four mop tops from Liverpool present us with lyrical puzzles from the 20th century.

I have begun grading your papers on the meaning of the lyrics of “Hey Jude” and I expect to have them back to you by next week. …