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Misfortune Cookies
How some literary greats got their start in commercial writing
It is a little known fact that some of the world’s finest writers also tried their hand at commercial writing. Recently retrieved archival material reveals the failed attempts of several famous authors to crack various popular markets.
To: Jean-Paul Sartre
From: Fortune Cookie Fortunes Monthly
Thank you for your list of “realistic” fortune cookie fortunes. Unfortunately, we cannot use your submissions at this time. We are returning your list. Please feel free to try us again when you’re feeling better.
The Editors
Realistic Fortunes
1. Your life is a continuous cycle of despair.
2. Your god is dead.
3. Life has no meaning, at least for you.
4. Choice is your eternal curse.
5. Health and prosperity are but words in a dictionary for you.
6. Your waist size will exceed your chest size.
7. You will die a horrible, painful death.
8. The glass is half empty and it has a crack.
