Without looking at your birth certificate — Maybe you’ve accepted your septuagenarian status or maybe you’re in denial about your advancing years. Either way, here are a few undeniable clues you’re getting old: As a kid, you’ll bend down to pick up a penny. As you get older, your pick-it-off-the-ground threshold changes. By early adulthood, you’ll probably…

A review of one sad New York City daily — New to me but apparently familiar to many local readers is a daily newspaper called “The New York Times”. Sadly, this busy broadsheet fails to meet even minimal journalistic standards. First, the front page is, in a word, boring. From its baroque masthead to its six-column overindulgence, “The Times” —…

And not just by his own estimation — In an interview in 2018 on Fox News, Donald Trump assessed his presidency and gave himself an “A” for achievement. Crazy as that sounds, maybe he was right. When it comes to Mr. Trump, the letter “A” pretty much says it all. …

Public safety measure or outright cash grab? — For some time now, I’ve been wondering how the City of Ottawa is going to pay for such white elephants as Lansdowne and its dysfunctional light rail transit system. Clearly, the proposed property tax hike of 2.5 percent will do nothing to solve the current $3.5 billion debt. I think…

Like him, his prices are insane — Come on down to Crazy Donnie’s White House Agendas. I’m Crazy Donnie and have I got some crazy deals for you. They’re so crazy, they’re insane! We’ve got every type of legislative agenda just waiting for you to take them for a test drive. Whether your tastes run to gigantic…

A Canadian’s thanks on the occasion of American Thanksgiving — It’s American Thanksgiving and, while I already celebrated Canadian Thanksgiving six weeks ago, I’d like to take this opportunity to give thanks for my many blessings. In short, I am thankful that: Canada’s Thanksgiving sensibly falls on a Monday, not on a Thursday. I don’t have to spend eight hours…

How to have a fight-free Turkey Day — How to survive Thanksgiving with your red-state relatives: Remove all your “Vote for Biden” lawn signs. Don’t say that Donald Trump is the biggest turkey at the table. Resist the urge to suggest that former President Trump choose someone qualified like Homer Simpson for his next vice presidential running mate. Try to find common ground with your relatives…

Join our direct selling business and get rich quick — Hello, I’m Donald Trump and I want to introduce you to a product that’s going to make you rich beyond your wildest dreams. It’s called AmericaGreat® and now’s your chance to get in on the ground floor of this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. All you have to do to get this great…

What I do when my wife’s away — When my wife goes away for the weekend, I miss her and longingly await her return. Well actually, if I=m being entirely honest, I sometimes take advantage of her absence to go a little crazy and do whatever I want. For example, I might rearrange the various remote control devices…